I'm not screenshotting it but if you *genuinely* believe Jane Austen – a woman from a well-off family writing humorous fiction about relationships – 'wouldn't be published today', I have a HUGE surprise waiting for you at every bookshop in the country.
— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) January 29, 2023
my cornish friend…… look closely
Let's settle this… jam first or cream first? #thegreatdebate pic.twitter.com/joGfplDltT
— Dave (@davechannel) January 29, 2023
Happy Valley doing for PE teachers what Jaws did for sharks
— Joe Barton (@JoeBarton_) January 29, 2023
A comprehensive map of all countries that use the MMDDYYYY date format pic.twitter.com/uE6lsoeawI
— Terrible Maps (@TerribleMaps) January 30, 2023
Random reminder that if Google allowed you to create an email address with a dot in the username prior to 2011 because the one without the dot was taken, then the person with the address without the dot gets all your emails. Ask me how I know. pic.twitter.com/CvEOpyAaF4
— Jamie B. Golden (@jamiebgolden) January 30, 2023
I know Paperchase is in dire financial straights but 3 for 2 on Valentine’s cards is tapping into a very niche market pic.twitter.com/6qmujGnoSq
— Hannah (@hannoir) January 31, 2023
The new 2023 Red Nose looks amazing, it's been designed by Sir Jony Ive, designer of the iPhone! @comicrelief #RedNoseDay #RND23 pic.twitter.com/baGG2k6yzp
— sam (@musocuriosty) February 1, 2023
Teachers are ready for the picket line 🔥 pic.twitter.com/dERUT6AlrN
— Enough is Enough (@eiecampaign) January 31, 2023
Yep, Sky Cinema Comedy have done it again. pic.twitter.com/B9Cqtczgq6
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) February 2, 2023
Works Of Art That Are Named After Calendar Days Despite Having Little Thematic Connection But Have Subsequently Become More Famous Than The Day Itself To The Point They've Changed The Meaning Of That Day/Phrase Entirely:
— Jack Bernhardt (@jackbern23) February 3, 2023
1. Twelfth Night
2. Groundhog Day
The Conservatives having a dig a teachers who are on strike tomorrow are the same Conservatives who don't send their own children to state schools for the very reasons the teachers are striking.
— Kentish Made (@kentish_made) January 31, 2023
Johnson has called for Ukraine to be inducted into NATO and made a member of the EU.
— Jon Jones (@JonJonesSnr) February 1, 2023
Take a moment to absorb that last part.
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?